Blokes can not be friends with ‘sheilas’

Nick Inmon.
Nick Inmon.

AFTER being told by several of my womanly work colleagues I have the morals of an eighteenth century Mormon, I have taken to these pages to defend myself.

Blokes can't be friends with sheilas.

It's fine to be acquainted.

But in reality most heterosexual males assume that any romantic attraction they experience is mutual when it comes to female friends.

In plain English, I mean many blokes count talking as a chat-up line.

Let's face it if your "friend" is giving you a red candle made out of chocolate and shaped like a teddy bear with scribbles all over it that plays a tune when you wind it up for your birthday, you are not friends.

The perfect example is when you have an ex-girlfriend.

Do they come to the footy with you?

Or head down to the pub for a Friday session?

Or hook you up with their friends?

Hell no!

So why would it be any different the other way around?

There was even some research in some American scientific journals, which showed men consistently overestimated the level of attraction felt by their female friends.

And in turn women consistently underestimated the level of attraction felt by their male friends.

It's all been proved.

So once again I thought I would provide the readers with some more life tips:

Blokes (as explained above) can't be friends with sheilas.

To the bloke in the Palmerin St trying to get me to donate to some tree-hugging cause, there is no one on my mobile. I am just pretending to talk so I don't have to talk to you.

Men who have pierced ears are the perfect marriage candidate: they've experienced pain and bought jewellery.

Don't send men to the shop just to buy tampons. We have to then buy $100 worth of other stuff to hide the fact we are buying them.

All men should be massive supporters of feminism. It gets you out of heaps of work.

Anyone who tells you how much they earn the first time you meet them is more than likely on the dole.

Women are definitely not looking for an honest answer when they ask you, "Is that girl hot?"

Topics:  humour nick inmon rural lifestyle

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